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Tuesday, September 13, 2005


I was not married when I wrote this article but see me smiling in the picture as I look forward to a blissful life. Kindly take time to enjoy this article.

As I ponder and wonder on this particular word, it makes me relish the days where there is no responsibility. Hey stop there, before your mind starts wondering- I aint married yet but I understand the concept of marriage- the pains, the joy, the misunderstandings, the selfishness, the teamwork, the facade and the most important of all, the sex.

Where do I begin from, Young man gets attracted to the woman, romance is set ablaze and young man decides to marry woman after undergoing various processes of knitting-enjoys company, like the same kind of skill-set, able to understand her/his weakness. Wedding day is set with all anticipation for a wonderful life ahead and finally the honeymoon is ended after physically discovering the partner (assuming there was no sex b4 marriage). Realities set in and they both feel like being trapped especially the man- he feels she lied to him about herself.

Where am I going to you may ask? Big question. I think I should ask more questions, for example; why did God create marriage? Why is there always storm in marriage? Why are women and men wired in different ways? Why is sex so important to marriage?

I believe a novice to marriage should be able to answer these questions poignantly before setting off to this life imprisonment- whups! I am sorry, to this haven of joy. Whatever the perspective you use in viewing marriage, it is generally agreed by christians that God was the originator of marriage and the bible declares that all perfect gift comes from God in whom there is no shadow of turnings. This should give assurance to those who are in it that there is an inherent issue which is human that causes all the chaos that is visited on marriage.

Self centeredness is the basic problems of all marriages. The ability to give up ones ego, ideas, masculinity, ferminism, background knowledge and perspective to opt for a synergistic approach to solving various issues as it arise in most marriages is something that must be imbibed.
One can only validate his/her strenght of selflessness when faced with adversity and marriage offers this platform.

All christians who have taken Jesus as his/her lord and personal saviour, not the church-a building or an embodiment of believers- as his/her saviour, have the potentials to be selfless.
Please do not forget, it is a potential, not ability. Just as a seed has the potential to be a tree of its kind so does every Child of the Kingdom of God have the potential to be selfless.
To be continued.....................